Thanks to Chas and Ian for the feedback. Also thanks to Becky, who gave her opinion in person.
Also, I have been told that the last posted appeared a little petulant in print! It was not meant to, it was meant as an request for honest opinions – even if you think I am on a hiding to nothing and should not ‘give up the day job’!
I am now going to give some thought to the next part of the short story, and see what develops.
P.S. To those of you I saw in Swampea yesterday – lovely to touch base! HUGS!