Monthly Archives: February 2006

Guilt

Could have gone to work today. Would not have been 100%, but would probably have got thru the day ok.

Didn’t go.

Relaxed and got other important things done but was haunted by a vague sense of guilt all day. How do people take sickies without feeling terrible about it? I can’t even take a semi-justified day off without having to answer to my conscience for most of the day.

It really isn’t worth it.

Back to wotk with a hankie and painkillers tomorrow. Suffering a nagging cold is better than suffering a nagging conscience.

P.S. Cheerful Dith will return soon, honest 😉

Oops, spoke too soon

Having enjoyed a lovely time with Husband and the Nephews at the local Community Farm (cute goats, anyone?), we were travelling home. Had the odd cough and sniffle and commented to him that, depite the fact that I get the occasional symptom, it rarely turns into a full (nose) blown cold.

Is that why I spent half of Sat in bed and took today off work due to general bleurgh? Bring on the Lemsip!

Husband has a theory that I taunted the Demons of Cold by declaring my relative immunity. I’m beginning to think there may be some truth in that. S’cuse me while I go and wrap myself up in my (now very familiar) duvet. G’night (schniff).

Home soon…hopefully.

Mum is home for the week-end again. Things are going pretty well with her at the moment and, if she ‘behaves herself’, she will be allowed home for good in a fortnight. Hurrah!

However, ‘behaving herself’ is something Mum finds hard! Being a bit of a rebel at heart, she was caught by one of the nurses trying to make her own way to the loo one night. Also, when at home, she has been pushing the bounds of what is permitted. I would rather have a feisty, slightly rebellious Mum, however, than the defeated Mum that she was soon after the stroke.

Have also spoken to her on the phone, which was strange but cool.

Hurrah again!!!

The Telly Belly Challenge

You may have seen a brief reference to this on Jeff’s blog (tired and emotional). I thought that you may appreciate the full story on the connection between us both losing weight and the purchase of a flat screen, LCD TV.

Jeff has been nagging me for a while for the TV but as we have, in my opinion, a perfectly good telly at the moment, I have resisted…until now.

We were looking thru a catalogue the other day and saw the TVs in question. The cry ‘Big Flat Telly’ arose. This was responded to with a cry of ‘Big Fat Belly’. I was then asked,

"Can I have a Big Flat Telly?"

I replied, "When you have no Big Fat Belly, you can have a Big Flat Telly."

Jeff then chose this moment to tell me that he is planning to start going to the gym.

Damn!

This situation evidently needed some quick thinking if I was not to end up footing the entire bill for a needless piece of technology.

Some days later, the Telly Belly Challenge was born. This involves Jeff aiming to lose inches on his Belly and me aiming to lose pounds of my also not-insubstantial Belly. We will each have a target and a set period of time to in which to reach it. Depending on how well each of us do in comparison to each other will determine how much we each spend on the Big Flat Telly. I lose more weight, I spend less money. He loses more weight, it costs less for him. Nothing like the harnessing of two competitive natures to overcome the apathy!

Watch this space for Telly Belly Challenge updates.

Some updates…

Lots to update you on:

Mum
After being home for the assessment last week, Mum was able to spend a whole week-end with Dad and D. I get the impression it was difficult but worthwhile. Mum, being the rebel that she is, tried to do things that she shouldn’t yet. She also managed to find the bits that D and I had missed when cleaning the house. Typical 😉

Job
Did not get the secondment. Not really bothered.
Am enjoying the new placement. It’s a little different to last place as I am in a very small team now. Drive to work is longer, early mornings are not my forte. Yawn! Is a matter of settling in, and will probably be moved on again soon after that!

Walk vs Sofa
Did not get to go on walk with Welsh Dragon. Sofa did not permit! Intend to go another time.

Horse-riding
Horse-riding was excellent! Had a great time and have another lesson booked for next week. I need to get all the kit (jodhpurs/boots/hat) again now. Also learned that when I have a group lesson (this one was individual) it will cost significantly less, so this will not be as expensive as I initially thought. This may be a sport I can actually stick to!

So, there was the news. Not particularly entertaining, but informative all the same.

The last word…

…for today at least.

I just want to share another of my Mum’s word-blind moments with you. Henceforth, I decree that the horrible utilitarian contraption called the commode shall be graced with a name that will make using it more humorous…

…bumbledebum!

One small step…

…for Mum.

Well, lots of small steps, actually. She was taken home by the various therapists (or ‘tantrums’ as she once mistakenly called them 😉 with the purpose of assessing how she will get on. There are now, according to D & D, a number of bits and pieces of equipment in the bungalow (yes, thankfully no stairs in the parental home). Mum did well, apparantly, and was back in time for lunch – something she was particularly concerned not to miss!

Now, Mum is evidently a sneaky type. She has been walking since last Friday but had not told the family. Poor old Dad had got hold of ramps and everything, only to be told by the tantrums that they had not brought the wheelchair. I would have loved to have seen his face when Mum walked to the door, almost as much as I would have loved to see my Mum walking!

These trips home are to be increasing in freqency and length until Mum is able to return home for good. She needs to relearn how to walk properly and, if this is not done successfully, she will walk in the incorrect way that gets imprinted on her brain. Therefore, the tantrums want to make sure that the walking is better sorted before allowing her to only be seen as an outpatient.

Other news…

No feedback on the secondment I applied for. If I do not hear by Fri, I can assume am not shortlisted.
New placement starts next Mon, am a little apprehensive. In the meantime, I have a couple of training days and a couple of days leave. Yippee!
Am hoping to go for a walk with Only Hubby’s Mum, the Welsh Dragon tomorrow, her sofa delivery permitting (The nickname is in jest, my Mum has been dubbed the English Dragon.)
Have booked a horse-riding lesson for Thurs. As this is the only sport I have ever genuinely enjoyed (I’m sure that meandering along beaches and through parks does not count as sport), I have decided to dust off my equestrian skills and get back on a horse. Am REALLY looking forward to it. Only trouble is, the price has more than doubled since the last time I rode regularly…and then my Dad paid. Yes, that’s how long ago it was!

Til the next time, tally ho!

Apologies to the single…

…and to the married.

To those of you that think St. Valentine’s Day is a waste of space, I would like to say sorry in advance. I disagree with those who see it solely as an invention by the marketing companies to wring yet more cash out of Joe (and Josephine) public. It is, to me, more than that. Or it can be if you want it to be.

When I was in a discontented state of singleness (and I know that not all singles are discontent, which is a good thing!) I admit that I did resent a day which seemed specifically designed to rub my nose in the fact. Now I am recently married to one who appears to all intents and purposes to be unromantic (I would like to assure those that worry about the two of us that we are fine :). I, however, am glad of the opportunity to use St. Valentine’s Day to let him know how I feel, which is not to say that it is the ONLY day I do this. In my view, it is akin to a birthday or Chirstmas when you have an excuse to spoil someone you love.

I do, however, appreciate that it can be rather like salt in a wound for some. The fact is, I think you need to be sensitive to the needs of others, whether married or single. If happily married, take care not to parade it unfeelingly in front of hurting singles. If unhappily single, take care not to cause sensitive marrieds feel almost guilty that they have something you don’t have, and would like to. As for unhappily married and happily single, I do not have enough experience of either to comment!!!

So, to all, I would like to wish a Happy St. Valentine’s Day. May you get what you hope for and, if you ARE waiting, take it from a long term singleton who was pleasantly surprised…miracles DO happen!

A few hours later…

Surprising, really, that I was writing this at the same time Only Husband was having his rant. And, no, we did not know that the other was doing so. Pretty polarised views, eh? Thing is, a day to say it or not, the fact remains that the love is there. Despite our obvious differences!

The Significance of Significance

This train of thought has been chuffing gently around my mind for the last few weeks, and I thought I would blog it. The reason? Not sure, really. Perhaps I hope that by getting it down in words it will be less nebulous and possibly of some help. Help to me, at least, and possibly to others, too. Here goes…

From where do I derive my significance? What criteria do I use to answer the question ‘Who am I?’ Why do I sometimes feel as if all my efforts, and even my mere existence, amount to very little at the very best?

Just some easy questions to get me started!

Well, I am currently in Dorset with my family. Therefore I am sister and daughter, as well as being wife to the hubby who has kindly come with me. In some ways, this is a big part of who I am. This is especially true given the new level of closeness I have developed with my blood relations recently. But it is far from the whole story.

To pick up on the mention of hubby, I am not just wife. As a result of this marriage made in heaven 😉 , I am also daughter-in-law, sister-in-law and auntie. These are all relatively new roles, and their unfamiliarity means that I am still ‘growing into them’. They are still part of me, nevertheless.

In addition, I am friend. This is a very tricky one to define at the moment as many of the people who I consider my closest friends are not in the same city as me. Many of them are in Swansea. The immediacy of their friendship, which was always a great comfort to me, is often now interrupted by periods of silence, sometimes long ones. Though this is perfectly natural and understandable, it does blur the edge of how I feel in terms of signficance. Which is interesting…and sometimes disturbing.

So, what of new friends? Well, I was getting on well with many of the people at work (until the incident with the stink bomb, the mug of newts and the vat of glue). Seriously, tho’, the real reason that sentence is in the past tense, it that I have now had to move on. A few months’ placement is just long enough to feel as thuough you belong, the right length to make it feel strange to leave, but not long enough to feel like your absence will, in the long run, make any real difference.

Church, then? Yes, I am beginning to get to know some lovely people. But not very well, as yet. Beginning to help at the youth club will help, I am sure. At least it will get me doing something constructive and a little different from the norm.

But church should lead me to the true destination of this train of thought…God. Derailments, diversions or simply delays can prevent or slow the arrival though. The thing is, it is only in Christ that I really find out my significance. All the others means, good though they are, can only be supplemental to the necessary relationship with my Lord. The fact that so much of what I have previously considered to be my identity has been stretched so thin, and that I have not really grown into my new skin, means that I have th a pretty strong motivation to look at my significance in terms of what I mean to the Lord. I currently realise that, much as he knows me, I hardly know him at all. I also have a very flawed view of myself, which could really do with his modification and perhaps total renovation!

So, as you can see, the destination of this train of thought is actually the beginning of a new journey. A long, exciting, possibly arduous, certainly challenging journey of discovery.

Care to join me? (I reckon I could do with the company!)

A rose by any other name…

My mum is suffering from a little ‘word blindness’, especially in the area of names. There is a lady in the ward who is, sadly, a few butties short of a picnic. She has been wandering about and interfering with other patients. Mum has tried to call out her name to get her to leave them alone. Consequently, the old lady has variously been called ‘Lucky’ (our old dog) and ‘Judith’ (my real name!) Any comments about my similarity to a batty old lady will be treated with the contempt they deserve!